There is really NOTHING I hate more than someone telling me to do something when they CLEARLY are not even doing that thing.
It’s so easy to fall into this trap of do what I say and not what I do, but that is BOLOGNA. And nobody even likes bologna okay. Be a person that practices what you preach. And know that it matters.
I’m specifically talking to you, Mama. Mama you are SO important. There are so many eyes on you, and I know that’s a lot of pressure. I know that feels heavy, but it matters and you are strong enough!
When I had my third baby in three years I was a mess. I was trying to keep everybody alive and happy. I was trying to do a million things and honestly I was doing a lot, but I was just doing a lot of things poorly. It’s kind of like a buffet. Yeah you get a lot of choices, but it’s all pretty mediocre. Inside though, I didn’t want to be mediocre. I wanted to be excellent. I wanted to be an exceptional mother and wife. The problem was my focus was on the wrong things.
I was looking for outward things to make me an exceptional mother. The satisfaction of my husband and children was what I was using to see if I was measuring up. And as you know you can never live up to those expectations.
The real focus and work needed to be done inside. I learned quickly that if I worked on me the rest would work out. If I set the example they would follow. And even if they didn’t, I wouldn’t care so much because I was not consumed by their actions anymore. I was consumed by becoming the best version of me.
So I set out to do the hard inner work. I started prioritizing my time in the word, personal development, my work time, meditation, and my health. I plugged into a community that would hold me accountable and call me out when I was limiting myself with excuses. I started pushing myself to stop living in fear and start pursuing my dreams and passions. I started holding myself to those expectations of living in alignment with what I valued, and practicing what I preached.
Then something amazing happened. I set the tone and the people that I had wasted so much energy trying to change with words and attitude started following my example because they saw that it was changing my life. They saw me living my truth and they were inspired to do the same.
So mama. Stop it. Stop nagging and begging your husband and your kids to do things that you aren’t doing. Use that energy to do the hard inner work that needs to be done. Work on you and they will see that change and they will want it too. You set the tone for your family. You are not in control of anyone except yourself. Steward it well. Use that power to live your truth. Use that power to take care of you, and it will ripple out to those around you. Now go and practice what you preach.