faith

Prone to Wander

Have you ever just felt God telling you to do something? Last year ended with me wandering from God. I wandered from His word and really settled for going with the motions. What a horrible place to be. It reminds me of verse 15 in Revelation 3. “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold.” A lukewarm Christian is useless. I had become useless.

Thankfully God is in the business of unfailing love and faithfulness, and chasing after his one lost sheep.

Psalm 36:5 Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.

Luke 15:3-5 So Jesus told them this story: “If a man has a hundred sheep and one gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go and search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders.

One thing I’ve learned through this wandering is that Jesus sure knows the way to my heart. At 2016’s beginning God began the “joyfully” carrying of me back home.

Colby and I were headed back to Oklahoma from Georgia, and I’m not going to lie my heart had drifted so far from God that I had lost sight of His plan for us. I longed for the next time we would see our families, but also a part of me was just exhausted from the two-week trip. I had really been praying that God would just put a love in my heart for the people and state of Oklahoma like I had for Georgia and family. We made it halfway and that night we decided to stay in a hotel room. The next morning we planned to set out early only to find that the car had a flat.

So we began searching for the nearest service station. It was twenty miles away! We pumped air into the tire and made it to the Wal-Mart tire center. We were there for a while, they patched the tire and we were back on our merry, little way. Only to get twenty miles down the interstate and the tire completely BLOW! It was the scariest moment of my life sitting on the side of that road with cars whizzing by while my husband squatted just inches from death putting on the donut tire. We packed up again and headed back for the Wal-Mart. There they gave us a new tire and made us wait an extra long time. We were hungry at this point and decided we’d stop and get lunch. After, we got back on the interstate only to realize that the brand new tire had gone flat. So there we were again inches from death changing the tire to the spare again, but this time we took off and the spare had gone flat as well.

At this point, I was completely and utterly defeated! Luckily we have roadside assistance and in two hours a wrecker would arrive to take us BACK to Wal-Mart. In those two hours though I had some time to think. The only thing I could think to do was turn to God. I got out the bible and began to read. As I read the words of a Psalm hot tears just poured down my cheeks. I was so embarrassed that it took four flat tires for me to turn to Jesus and spend time with Him. I can only imagine the hurt God must have been feeling in my wandering, but oh the joy of carrying me back to Him.

Colby and I prayed, and the wrecker showed up. We got a new tire and got back on our way. I longed for our sweet home in Oklahoma after the day we had experienced. I couldn’t wait to get there, and during all that trouble the idea that we wouldn’t make it back had really stirred a great desire to be there inside me. There it was! The great love for the place that God had taken us too. God had answered my prayers, and drawn me back to Himself in the process.

So when I got back I had decided that this year I was going to spend more time with God. I was going to get to know Him more, this lover of my soul. This God that cared so much for me that He would go to drastic measures to pursue me even after all my aimless wandering.

This year definitely has come with a theme since the tire ordeal. Trusting the Lord.

I am to trust the Lord when I have four flat tires. I am to trust the Lord when the insurance lady at the doctor’s office tells me how much we have to pay to give birth. I am to trust the Lord when the doctor says my cervix is measuring short, and I may have to get stitches or risk delivering Cypress way too soon. I am to trust the Lord when He tells me to drop all my classes except one. I am to trust the Lord when we have sixteen dollars left in our account until our next paycheck because we’ve been convicted to give sacrificially, but our refrigerator is empty. I am to trust the Lord when He promises me that I can pray and ask for mercy for my lost loved ones in His name and surely He will answer. I am to trust the Lord when He confirms my purpose is to serve and be a stay at home wife. I am to trust Him when nothing is going as planned, and I am to stand on His promises.

You know when you feel the Lord telling you to do something? The Lord told me to write about Him. You know what I did though? I put it off and put it off, and faithfully He began to carry me back again with His word.

Psalm 112:1 Praise the Lord! How joyful are those who fear the Lord and delight in obeying His commands.

Psalm 96:3 Publish His glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things He does.

God hasn’t answered everything I’ve ever asked for, but He has answered way more than I deserve. When I prayed this morning after letting anxious thoughts of inadequacy fill my mind God gave me a promise and a reminder of just who I am to Him.

Psalm 8:5 Yet you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with honor and glory.
Psalm 113:9 He gave the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the Lord!

And who He is to me.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.

So today what do you feel God nudging you to do? Obey Him and most of all trust Him. May you be lavished in His perfect peace and purpose for your life today no matter how insignificant it may seem in your mind or the minds of others.

image

1 thought on “Prone to Wander”

  1. OK, girl, you made me cry this morning. I am so sorry that y’all had such a hard time. I’m so glad that you have a faith that can handle those hard times.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.