I have prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; He saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the Lord is a guard; He surrounds and defends all who fear Him.
Wow. You know how you read something and think to yourself this had to be written just for me. As I sit reflecting on my journals of sweet prayer time with the Lord I can start all the way at the one dated October 18, 2014; That’s where it began. I prayed that my heart would be so after God that I could communicate without fear what the Lord had laid on my heart with my brand new husband of a little over 2 months. I prayed that Colby and I would go forth and multiply. The next days were prayers that Colby’s heart would be softened to the idea of us having babies.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, and it is probably exactly what my husband and everyone else was thinking. Why are we trying to have babies when we’ve been married for 2 months?!
The only answer I have for that is desire. I am a firm believer that God gives us desires, and He uses them to guide us for His purposes. For example He gave Colby a great desire to be married at a very young age because He knew that Colby would be married to me one day. God used that desire to guide Colby through his life with marriage being a goal, and something great to look forward to. Boy am I thankful for that desire in Colby because it really planted seeds of hope in my life that people can be different with Jesus, not all guys are cowering away from commitment, and that people are still capable of loving one another.
So early on in our relationship babies seemed like a distant dream, but I knew I had a great desire to be a mother. Upon marriage we thought it would be best to wait a while though. So we did, and I was miserable. I hated the idea of birth control, and the Lord used conviction and another godly wife and mother in my life to guide me to making the decision to stop. I knew then that I needed to share that conviction with Colby, and I knew that I needed to cover that in prayer so that we would be on the same page.
So that brings us back to the journal. The Lord used that moment for so many reasons. First, it drew me closer to Him and more dependent on Him. Second, it showed me how to pray for my husband and how to put the Lord in the middle of all of our decisions. Lastly, God showed me how to give Him authority over one more part of my life, and let me tell you it was SO LIBERATING.
So October of last year we began a journey of trusting God with my desire to become a mother, and for our family to multiply and glorify the Lord. I watched Colby’s desire to be a father grow too as the time went by and we began to pray for a baby. Soon we were using that in our life to encourage other people and it was amazing to watch how God was using just our one step of obedience.
As time went by though we started to let worry trickle into our hearts. I started to wonder if we were ever going to conceive. We became even more desperate as I began to have really painful cycles. I had been to the doctor and sought out some answers. That’s when I was burdened with the news that I may have endometriosis. This was heartbreaking as I thought of all the possibilities of infertility and just how we may really struggle with pain and surgery for the rest of our lives.
I was tired of worrying though. I knew the Lord had placed this desire on our hearts, and I knew it wasn’t for no reason. I began to cast my cares on the Lord, and I began to open up to people about what was going on. We needed prayer. God was the only person who could heal me. In one last moment of desperation I prayed to the Lord. I just asked Him if He wanted me to have this surgery or if I needed to trust him with healing me. We had decided that I was going to wait one more cycle and if the pain was bad enough I would schedule the surgery.
Well, it came time for my cycle to start and something was off. I had some mild spotting and then nothing! I waited one more day and then I couldn’t stand it anymore. I took a pregnancy test, and before I knew it that second line made a faint appearance. I couldn’t believe it. I immediately sent a picture of the test to Colby. He responded with “What does that mean?” ( I know! What a horrible way to break the news?) I did call him though, and we just shared our disbelief with each other over the phone. Then spent the last part of our day just crying in awe of this miracle.
It was real though. Psalm 67:1,6, &7 were a few verses that spoke so clearly to me this morning.
May God be merciful and bless us. May His face smile with favor on us.
Then the earth will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will richly bless us.
Yes, God will bless us, and people all over the world will fear Him.
We are 5 weeks pregnant, and I know it’s pretty much unheard of for someone to announce this early for fear of miscarriage or what not. But I will praise the Lord for this baby, I will boast only in Him, and I will tell you of His greatness. Like the psalmist said in the beginning of this post, “He freed me from my fears.” “I prayed and He answered me.” I also know from this experience the power of prayer. So I just ask that you all would be joining us in prayer of this little one. Pray that she/he is knitted with a great desire to love Jesus with all his/her heart, soul, mind and strength, and that he/she loves other people as his/her self. Pray that Colby and I will rest in the truth of God’s word. Psalm 139: 13-16 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous- how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Everyday of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day passed.
Pray that this baby will bring God great Glory however His will has aligned for it. Just join us as we celebrate this long awaited precious time in our life, and help us Praise God for it.
I want this to encourage any other young & married people out there to listen to your heart’s desires, and don’t be scared to pray radical prayers if that’s what God is laying on your heart. Trust Him with all things in your life. He knows what we need, and yes that means even children.
Lastly, I want to encourage any new mommies. Don’t be afraid to announce your baby’s life for fear of loss. Tell people so they can be in prayer for you and your family. Most of all give God the glory He is due for making you a mommy even if it’s for a short time. He is worthy to be praised in light of all situations. He is good.